she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
