Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come see our sink grown plant.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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