id be glad to
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
