normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
