oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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