is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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