girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You made out with two different species that night
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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