I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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