I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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