you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
