Will you blow on my dice?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
