dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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