Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
