he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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