My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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