Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
