hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
