If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
