I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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