Betty ford says i'm here all night
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
