we're chasing vodka with high fives
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
