Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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