my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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