My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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