You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
