I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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