Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
