Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
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I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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