It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
