there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Houston, we have a squirter
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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