I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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