all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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