Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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