Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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