We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
