the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
sex in a hospital.. check
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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