No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it's great music for shaving your balls
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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