i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
