I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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