those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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