Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
