haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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