it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love having hate sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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