Do vagina's smell?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
