Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
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