I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it's like heaven, but drunker
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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