yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
