Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
