Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
