...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
