Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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