whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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