roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
