I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
