she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
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2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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