So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
