Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
