I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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