At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
