If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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