I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
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Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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