If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
