if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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