He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
