I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize