after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
