hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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