I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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