can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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