Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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