Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
